Tonight I finished dinner with some friends, which I was proud that I only ate a house salad and two or three beers. I figured it was an even trade, a full meal for a small salad and beers.
Anyways as I pulled out of my parking spot I was faced with a Goodberrys, Backyard Burgers, and a McDonalds. All of these places have ice cream. All I wanted to do was pull up to one of these places order the biggest ice cream or shake that they had, maybe 2 of them, shove it in my face, and then go home.
I pulled in to Goodberrys and then I drove away. I pulled in to Backyard Burgers...
I reached for my phone. I called two people to talk me out of it and neither one of them answered!! I need different people on my help line :)
The lady came over the loud speaker, "Can I help you?" I wanted to say yes you can help me let me walk in your restaurant and put my mouth underneath the ice cream dispenser and turn that baby on!!
I ordered. Large oreo milkshake. Make that two milkshakes. "Pull around."
I pulled around alright. I pulled all the way through and I didn't stop. I'm sorry Backyard Burgers!! I ordered and then drove off, but it really was for the best. So here I sit dreaming of ice cream.
I decided to ask myself why I wanted to impulse eat. Then I tried to focus in on my thinking about myself throughout the day. I was feeling down today about my left knee really hurting me and it made me feel discouraged. I started telling myself that there was no way that I could do a half marathon if my knee already started hurting me.
That is when I drove away. I drove away from the ice cream because I was wanting to overeat due to the negative thinking. I actually was able to stop and think about it. Now don't get me wrong I am going to "plan" an ice cream outing in the next week or so and I can't wait! I'm glad I had self-control tonight and decided to drive away.
Monday, January 30, 2012
Sunday, January 29, 2012
I Made the Bed Collapse
The Deaton's House: January 28, 2012
(Ginnie sits on the bed)
(Eric's head bobbles up and down)
Ginnie-"Eric don't bobble your head up and down like I jumped on the bed"
Eric-"Ok you did jump down on the bed"
Ginnie- "No I didn't"
10 seconds later...
a small noise
10 more seconds...
CRASh!! The bed falls through the frame on to the floor.
I don't think I've laughed that hard in a long time. I guess there's nothing like collapsing a bed to make you feel good about yourself. I've broken a chair in my bigger days but never a bed. I mean at least I could have been eating ice cream or something while it fell. The funniest part was that while we were fixing the bed, Eric was putting the wooden slabs back on. He was saying something to me teasing me about saying that I didn't jump on the bed and then he fell and split the wood in half (he was ok). So, I guess the good thing is that we are both eating healthy and exercising now and hopefully will be able to sit on furniture soon with out it breaking. This could get expensive.
Our bed works perfectly fine now though and we are still giggling about it.
My left knee has been hurting me. Friday was my rest day, Saturday I swam (my knee felt much better afterwards!) and today I decided to stick to my running plan and I ran 4 miles. When I hit my 2 mile turn around point I wanted to keep going Eric's route, but I decided to do the 4 miles. I don't want to injure myself by being over zealous.
I didn't want to go this morning. I was going to wait and go this afternoon but my sweet husband brought me coffee in bed after he got back from his over 5 mile run and it gave me the kick I needed to get up. I'm glad I did. It always starts my day off better when I've run in the morning.
Today was a hard day for cravings. I wanted anything and everything that was junk food. Luckily we don't have any in our house. It continues to be a fight and I don't know if that will ever go away.
The main point is that I collapsed a bed and ran 4 miles all in one weekend!!
(Ginnie sits on the bed)
(Eric's head bobbles up and down)
Ginnie-"Eric don't bobble your head up and down like I jumped on the bed"
Eric-"Ok you did jump down on the bed"
Ginnie- "No I didn't"
10 seconds later...
a small noise
10 more seconds...
CRASh!! The bed falls through the frame on to the floor.
I don't think I've laughed that hard in a long time. I guess there's nothing like collapsing a bed to make you feel good about yourself. I've broken a chair in my bigger days but never a bed. I mean at least I could have been eating ice cream or something while it fell. The funniest part was that while we were fixing the bed, Eric was putting the wooden slabs back on. He was saying something to me teasing me about saying that I didn't jump on the bed and then he fell and split the wood in half (he was ok). So, I guess the good thing is that we are both eating healthy and exercising now and hopefully will be able to sit on furniture soon with out it breaking. This could get expensive.
Our bed works perfectly fine now though and we are still giggling about it.
My left knee has been hurting me. Friday was my rest day, Saturday I swam (my knee felt much better afterwards!) and today I decided to stick to my running plan and I ran 4 miles. When I hit my 2 mile turn around point I wanted to keep going Eric's route, but I decided to do the 4 miles. I don't want to injure myself by being over zealous.
I didn't want to go this morning. I was going to wait and go this afternoon but my sweet husband brought me coffee in bed after he got back from his over 5 mile run and it gave me the kick I needed to get up. I'm glad I did. It always starts my day off better when I've run in the morning.
Today was a hard day for cravings. I wanted anything and everything that was junk food. Luckily we don't have any in our house. It continues to be a fight and I don't know if that will ever go away.
The main point is that I collapsed a bed and ran 4 miles all in one weekend!!
Thursday, January 26, 2012
I Forgot I Was Fat
When you are working out and eating healthy you expect to magically get skinny. That is why people don't stay with their resolutions. They don't see results quick enough. I'm not falling for that excuse though. I know eventually I will see results, I actually already do!!
This morning I woke up and was feeling really skinny to say the least. I put on my normal jeans and decided to put on a shirt that I haven't been able to wear in a few years. I felt good in it and thought I looked good...
Then I looked in the mirror. It was like a Thanksgiving Turkey trying to squeeze into a small water bottle. It was bad. Real bad. Does fat guy in a little coat ring a bell??
Maybe one day soon. It was kind of funny. I should have taken a picture so in a few months I can look back and laugh even more.
I've been doing that lately forgetting that I am still fat. It is a funny feeling. You feel so good and then you see a mirror and its like crap, the fat is still there. I actually think that this is a good thing. A good thing that I feel so positive about myself that I actually think I look different than I actually do. Don't get me wrong I still think I am beautiful fat or not :) But the fat is still there. So, it is a good wake up call looking in the mirror. For so long I don't think I truly looked in the mirror and saw myself as I really was, or the way God saw me. I looked in the mirror and all I saw was an ugly person who was gaining weight, then more weight, more, and so on, until now the whopping 171 that I am now.
If you weigh more than 171 and it offends you that I am talking about needing to lose 50 pounds then remember that we are all different. A person who weighs 125 could still see themselves as fat and ugly no matter what the number is. Also in the health and doctor world I am obese. So whether you need to lose 10 pounds or maybe 100 pounds we all need to look at ourselves as beautiful people fat or not. I would rather be beautiful and healthy opposed to beautiful and fat. So if you are beautiful and fat try to shoot for the beautiful and healthy, it is worth it.
Either way I am still beautiful because Psalm 139:14 says "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." My Father in heaven made me and I need to be careful that what I am putting in my body glorifies Him. I continue to pray that instead of relying on food I will rely on Him for comfort.
So there you go. Deep thoughts by Deaton.
This morning I woke up and was feeling really skinny to say the least. I put on my normal jeans and decided to put on a shirt that I haven't been able to wear in a few years. I felt good in it and thought I looked good...
Then I looked in the mirror. It was like a Thanksgiving Turkey trying to squeeze into a small water bottle. It was bad. Real bad. Does fat guy in a little coat ring a bell??
Maybe one day soon. It was kind of funny. I should have taken a picture so in a few months I can look back and laugh even more.
I've been doing that lately forgetting that I am still fat. It is a funny feeling. You feel so good and then you see a mirror and its like crap, the fat is still there. I actually think that this is a good thing. A good thing that I feel so positive about myself that I actually think I look different than I actually do. Don't get me wrong I still think I am beautiful fat or not :) But the fat is still there. So, it is a good wake up call looking in the mirror. For so long I don't think I truly looked in the mirror and saw myself as I really was, or the way God saw me. I looked in the mirror and all I saw was an ugly person who was gaining weight, then more weight, more, and so on, until now the whopping 171 that I am now.
If you weigh more than 171 and it offends you that I am talking about needing to lose 50 pounds then remember that we are all different. A person who weighs 125 could still see themselves as fat and ugly no matter what the number is. Also in the health and doctor world I am obese. So whether you need to lose 10 pounds or maybe 100 pounds we all need to look at ourselves as beautiful people fat or not. I would rather be beautiful and healthy opposed to beautiful and fat. So if you are beautiful and fat try to shoot for the beautiful and healthy, it is worth it.
Either way I am still beautiful because Psalm 139:14 says "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." My Father in heaven made me and I need to be careful that what I am putting in my body glorifies Him. I continue to pray that instead of relying on food I will rely on Him for comfort.
So there you go. Deep thoughts by Deaton.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Therapy
Today was a rough day to say the least. It started off well, but seemed to go down hill with each hour. Today I met with my CC to run our 3 miles after school.
Before we took off running CC told me that we weren't going to focus on time today that we needed to focus on something else...I thought maybe she would say something about my posture or another running technique that I would learn. But what she said I couldn't have needed more. She said, "Deaton, today the only thing I want you to focus on is being out here and that you are running today." I really needed that!! Normally on a stressful day I would turn to food, but not today. Normally I would eat a few bowls of butter pecan ice cream and stuff my face all night while thinking about what a bad day I had. I am now making myself hungry so I am going to stop writing about food.
So, she did teach me a technique: Even on the worst days, I need to focus on that I am getting my stress out in a healthy way. She also told me that on this run I was going to talk most of the time. So when I got done running I felt healthy and like I just visited with a therapist!!
I felt really slow running today and I just felt like I was weak. I obviously didn't think about my time at all, I was too busy talking about my bad day. At the end of the run I just knew that my time was going to be something completely different then what it was last week. I couldn't believe it when it was the same!! I was really excited.
It is amazing how every run is so different. That is kind of the nice thing about it.
Before we took off running CC told me that we weren't going to focus on time today that we needed to focus on something else...I thought maybe she would say something about my posture or another running technique that I would learn. But what she said I couldn't have needed more. She said, "Deaton, today the only thing I want you to focus on is being out here and that you are running today." I really needed that!! Normally on a stressful day I would turn to food, but not today. Normally I would eat a few bowls of butter pecan ice cream and stuff my face all night while thinking about what a bad day I had. I am now making myself hungry so I am going to stop writing about food.
So, she did teach me a technique: Even on the worst days, I need to focus on that I am getting my stress out in a healthy way. She also told me that on this run I was going to talk most of the time. So when I got done running I felt healthy and like I just visited with a therapist!!
I felt really slow running today and I just felt like I was weak. I obviously didn't think about my time at all, I was too busy talking about my bad day. At the end of the run I just knew that my time was going to be something completely different then what it was last week. I couldn't believe it when it was the same!! I was really excited.
It is amazing how every run is so different. That is kind of the nice thing about it.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
The Best Workout EVER!!!!
Today was my stretch/lifting day. I am going to stretch as I lift myself into bed after a long day.
Ice cream thought about today: None, until now.
Ice cream thought about today: None, until now.
Monday, January 23, 2012
Tired
No time today to even think about ice cream!!
Today was the first day back to school with kids (I had teacher workdays last week). I am tired.
Today was supposed to be my weightlifting/stretch day. I planned on getting up at 5:00 am and going to the Y before work. I woke up at 5:45 but still went. On my way there I remembered that tomorrow after school I couldn't run my 3 miles on the treadmill that I was supposed to do. I have somewhere I have to be at 5:30. So, what did I do?? Coach Cori you will be proud!!! I didn't use it as an excuse, I ran my 3 miles this morning instead of stretching and weights. I can do those at my house if needed tomorrow. I am very proud of myself for not taking the easy route this morning. I could have allowed myself to stretch this morning and then tomorrow I wouldn't be able to do anything due to other things.
I'm glad that I am starting to see again how important exercise is in my daily routine.
Today was the first day back to school with kids (I had teacher workdays last week). I am tired.
Today was supposed to be my weightlifting/stretch day. I planned on getting up at 5:00 am and going to the Y before work. I woke up at 5:45 but still went. On my way there I remembered that tomorrow after school I couldn't run my 3 miles on the treadmill that I was supposed to do. I have somewhere I have to be at 5:30. So, what did I do?? Coach Cori you will be proud!!! I didn't use it as an excuse, I ran my 3 miles this morning instead of stretching and weights. I can do those at my house if needed tomorrow. I am very proud of myself for not taking the easy route this morning. I could have allowed myself to stretch this morning and then tomorrow I wouldn't be able to do anything due to other things.
I'm glad that I am starting to see again how important exercise is in my daily routine.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Craving Something Besides Food
Ice cream eaten this weekend: NONE
Today hasn't been that exciting. I swam 30 minutes today and of course had to share a lane. For the first half I was with a normal swimmer and the second half another olympic swimmer. There wasn't anything peaceful about it, I was just trying not to drown from all the waves in the pool (it was busy!!). Nothing inspiring went through my head, unless you include trying to remember how to breathe. Today I did ok on my eating. I didn't over eat (is it overeat or over eat?) I probably should have had one Bud Light tonight instead of 3 but I'm not too worried about it. I didn't do any impulse eating, I even skipped all the yummy deserts at church, thanks to Eric for being my support.
Today for the first time I felt like I was craving that "runners high". Eric ran the 5 mile course and came back all positive and it was of course easy for him and he hasn't run in 2 weeks. Yes, somehow he can just step outside and run oh 5 or 10 miles whatever he wants. He's very athletic that way. I've never seen him not do well at a sport.
Anyways, I was craving the positive energy. Not that I was feeling negative but I just can't get out of my mind that feeling of how I felt after my 5 mile run. Yes I said it, I was craving something besides food. Uh oh, what is going on?? I am craving RUNNING!!!
So, I went to the Y and went swimming. Today was a cross training day.
I am sooo excited that today on weigh in I was 171 pounds!!! Hopefully I will get below 170 this week.
I allowed myself to share a slice of pizza with Kate at Whole Foods tonight for my dinner. Their slices are really big so cutting it in half gave us each a normal slice. It's been awhile since I've eaten pizza. It felt good to be able to eat it in moderation. Normally I would have eaten 2 or 3 slices plus something else for dinner. Moderation is the key.
Well moderation and everytime that I want to lose self-control or a negative comment comes in my mind, I pray for strength from God who is the only one that can give me that strength. I'm trying to turn to Him instead of to food.
Today hasn't been that exciting. I swam 30 minutes today and of course had to share a lane. For the first half I was with a normal swimmer and the second half another olympic swimmer. There wasn't anything peaceful about it, I was just trying not to drown from all the waves in the pool (it was busy!!). Nothing inspiring went through my head, unless you include trying to remember how to breathe. Today I did ok on my eating. I didn't over eat (is it overeat or over eat?) I probably should have had one Bud Light tonight instead of 3 but I'm not too worried about it. I didn't do any impulse eating, I even skipped all the yummy deserts at church, thanks to Eric for being my support.
Today for the first time I felt like I was craving that "runners high". Eric ran the 5 mile course and came back all positive and it was of course easy for him and he hasn't run in 2 weeks. Yes, somehow he can just step outside and run oh 5 or 10 miles whatever he wants. He's very athletic that way. I've never seen him not do well at a sport.
Anyways, I was craving the positive energy. Not that I was feeling negative but I just can't get out of my mind that feeling of how I felt after my 5 mile run. Yes I said it, I was craving something besides food. Uh oh, what is going on?? I am craving RUNNING!!!
So, I went to the Y and went swimming. Today was a cross training day.
I am sooo excited that today on weigh in I was 171 pounds!!! Hopefully I will get below 170 this week.
I allowed myself to share a slice of pizza with Kate at Whole Foods tonight for my dinner. Their slices are really big so cutting it in half gave us each a normal slice. It's been awhile since I've eaten pizza. It felt good to be able to eat it in moderation. Normally I would have eaten 2 or 3 slices plus something else for dinner. Moderation is the key.
Well moderation and everytime that I want to lose self-control or a negative comment comes in my mind, I pray for strength from God who is the only one that can give me that strength. I'm trying to turn to Him instead of to food.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Getting Off the Couch on a Dreary Day
Today I woke up and my neck was hurting and of course I thought well maybe I shouldn't do my long run today. I got coffee, sat on the couch, looked out the window at the puddles on the ground, opened the front door to see if it was too cold to run (it wasn't), sat back on the couch, opened the front door again to see if for some reason it had turned into a blizzard outside, went back to the couch, decided to watch a movie, checked the front door again to see if it was raining, went back to the movie, opened the door again, and then my movie ended.
It was decision time. Was I going to get off my behind and go or not??
As I ran out of the door I planned on running 4 miles. When I got to my 2 mile turn around spot I thought well I'll go a little further, I was feeling pretty good. I knew that if I kept going I would start where usually my run stops and Eric's run continues on and it ends up being a 5 mile run. I just kept going. I ran the 5 mile course. I don't know why I kept going but I did.
Maybe it was because...
-Kate said to me before I left that "I want to be a runner too and Mommy you sure are being healthy."
-I ate 15 almonds before I ran and I had a lot of energy
-an elderly man cheered me on when I was close to the 2 mile mark (where I usually turn around)
-I was proud of myself because I really didn't want to run today
-I knew I couldn't stop because I had to be home in time to leave for Reece's basketball game
-it was drizzling outside and I felt like I was really challenging myself
-I pretended that I was being filmed for my own documentary (lately we've been watching documentaries when the kids are in bed)
-I got my hair cut yesterday and I was feeling good about myself
-I passed a guy sitting on his porch smoking at mile one and it made me push harder
Whatever the reason is I can't explain what a wonderful run I had today. I pushed myself just enough so that I completed something that I can't ever remember doing, 5 miles. Yes, I'm sure my old 2 hour soccer practices at Montreat or Sun Valley could have equaled 5 miles but I've never run 5 miles- distance wise.
Today I did it and I am very proud of myself.
Just imagine what I would be writing about if I chose to sit on the couch or do something else. Today gave me strength mentally that even on the days when I really don't want to run, I need to do it anyways. This run will be in my mind for awhile.
It was decision time. Was I going to get off my behind and go or not??
As I ran out of the door I planned on running 4 miles. When I got to my 2 mile turn around spot I thought well I'll go a little further, I was feeling pretty good. I knew that if I kept going I would start where usually my run stops and Eric's run continues on and it ends up being a 5 mile run. I just kept going. I ran the 5 mile course. I don't know why I kept going but I did.
Maybe it was because...
-Kate said to me before I left that "I want to be a runner too and Mommy you sure are being healthy."
-I ate 15 almonds before I ran and I had a lot of energy
-an elderly man cheered me on when I was close to the 2 mile mark (where I usually turn around)
-I was proud of myself because I really didn't want to run today
-I knew I couldn't stop because I had to be home in time to leave for Reece's basketball game
-it was drizzling outside and I felt like I was really challenging myself
-I pretended that I was being filmed for my own documentary (lately we've been watching documentaries when the kids are in bed)
-I got my hair cut yesterday and I was feeling good about myself
-I passed a guy sitting on his porch smoking at mile one and it made me push harder
Whatever the reason is I can't explain what a wonderful run I had today. I pushed myself just enough so that I completed something that I can't ever remember doing, 5 miles. Yes, I'm sure my old 2 hour soccer practices at Montreat or Sun Valley could have equaled 5 miles but I've never run 5 miles- distance wise.
Today I did it and I am very proud of myself.
Just imagine what I would be writing about if I chose to sit on the couch or do something else. Today gave me strength mentally that even on the days when I really don't want to run, I need to do it anyways. This run will be in my mind for awhile.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
My Face is Numb
My face is still numb. No, its not from running too fast, it is from the dentist. The good thing is, I don't feel like eating anything.
Today I ran with my CC for 3 miles and yes I am so excited to say that the pace was 10:49 per mile!!! I am so excited!!! I did this with a numb face too. I couldn't talk much but of course Cori once again was able to make it go by fast and reduce my time without me knowing it. If only I could take a little her with me to the half marathon and keep her in my pocket.
This morning I felt much better about my eating the ice cream yesterday. Today I did well with my eating and thinking about eating. It is going to be tempting at work, there is always something sweet floating around. So if you work with me, please don't offer me any food unless it is a fruit or vegetable.
I can do this though. I want my children to have a good role model when it comes to health.
Today I ran with my CC for 3 miles and yes I am so excited to say that the pace was 10:49 per mile!!! I am so excited!!! I did this with a numb face too. I couldn't talk much but of course Cori once again was able to make it go by fast and reduce my time without me knowing it. If only I could take a little her with me to the half marathon and keep her in my pocket.
This morning I felt much better about my eating the ice cream yesterday. Today I did well with my eating and thinking about eating. It is going to be tempting at work, there is always something sweet floating around. So if you work with me, please don't offer me any food unless it is a fruit or vegetable.
I can do this though. I want my children to have a good role model when it comes to health.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
I Have to be Honest
Ice cream eaten today: ONE
I wish I didn't have to be honest. But I do. I did it. I impulsively ate ice cream today. Yep, I went back to Cold Stone today. They still didn't have yogurt. I wasn't looking for yogurt though. I wanted the good stuff. Ice cream. How do I feel about it? I actually feel fine. I ordered a kid sized butter pecan (I need therapy for butter pecan) and yes I got the little cone this time. Oh well, I'm not going to completely break my phone like my CC told me. I had a moment of weakness but I'm not going to let it get to me. I ran 2 miles today and for the rest of the day I did very well with my impulse eating. I guess I'm just scared that it will become a pattern. First its a cone then its a half gallon then a gallon. Then who knows from there. Ok, I'm taking this too far.
I actually feel ok about the fact that I had a kid-sized ice cream cone today. Normally I would feel guilty but not this time. Although it was out of impulse, at least I didn't get the waffle cone with triple scoops. I can't keep going back to "at least I didn't do this". That is just an excuse to let myself slowly get back in to overeating. Ok, so I guess I don't feel ok about it. I feel like I lost a battle.
It is really hard. Food is everywhere. And for some reason it calls my name. Eat me. Eat me. Eat more of me. This stinks.
I wish I didn't have to be honest. But I do. I did it. I impulsively ate ice cream today. Yep, I went back to Cold Stone today. They still didn't have yogurt. I wasn't looking for yogurt though. I wanted the good stuff. Ice cream. How do I feel about it? I actually feel fine. I ordered a kid sized butter pecan (I need therapy for butter pecan) and yes I got the little cone this time. Oh well, I'm not going to completely break my phone like my CC told me. I had a moment of weakness but I'm not going to let it get to me. I ran 2 miles today and for the rest of the day I did very well with my impulse eating. I guess I'm just scared that it will become a pattern. First its a cone then its a half gallon then a gallon. Then who knows from there. Ok, I'm taking this too far.
I actually feel ok about the fact that I had a kid-sized ice cream cone today. Normally I would feel guilty but not this time. Although it was out of impulse, at least I didn't get the waffle cone with triple scoops. I can't keep going back to "at least I didn't do this". That is just an excuse to let myself slowly get back in to overeating. Ok, so I guess I don't feel ok about it. I feel like I lost a battle.
It is really hard. Food is everywhere. And for some reason it calls my name. Eat me. Eat me. Eat more of me. This stinks.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Back to Reality
Today I went back to work. I've been off for 4 weeks (year round school). I knew this day would come and with it would come stress. Not stress from what I do because I love teaching, but stress from being able to juggle everything. It is hard to do everything. I usually put myself at the bottom of the totem pole which is why I'm fat. For the past few years I didn't make time for me to exercise. Well, I am now. Momma needs some time too. By giving myself time to work on my health it will help me be a better wife and mother. I believe it will also draw me closer to God. Instead of relying on food for comfort I will rely on Him.
So, at the end of the day today when I felt like I had 50,000 things still to do in my classroom, I put on my running clothes and I ran 3 miles. I have workdays now so it is a little easier. Don't worry if you are a parent in my class and you happen to stumble on this and you are reading it. I will still maintain my "Teacher of the Year" status :). I am just going to be a little bit wiser with my time. So instead of walking down to the teacher's lounge to get something sweet from the vending machine during my planning period, I will use that 6 minutes to get more accomplished so I don't have to stay as long after school.
It is also hard to prepare a healthy dinner when you get home at 5:30-5:45 and your kids are wanting to eat. I need to find some quick healthy meals. Tonight we ate brown rice with cooked broccoli and a little bit of soy sauce. I also made Jiffy muffins, which I read the label while we were eating and I wish that I hadn't made them. There were 20,000 ingredients and the third one was sugar!! Next time I will toast a piece of bread for the kids or something.
Also, when I start actually teaching on the 23rd, I most likely won't be writing in this blog every night!
I forgot to mention that I lost 3 lbs last week!!!! Only 50 more to go :)
So, at the end of the day today when I felt like I had 50,000 things still to do in my classroom, I put on my running clothes and I ran 3 miles. I have workdays now so it is a little easier. Don't worry if you are a parent in my class and you happen to stumble on this and you are reading it. I will still maintain my "Teacher of the Year" status :). I am just going to be a little bit wiser with my time. So instead of walking down to the teacher's lounge to get something sweet from the vending machine during my planning period, I will use that 6 minutes to get more accomplished so I don't have to stay as long after school.
It is also hard to prepare a healthy dinner when you get home at 5:30-5:45 and your kids are wanting to eat. I need to find some quick healthy meals. Tonight we ate brown rice with cooked broccoli and a little bit of soy sauce. I also made Jiffy muffins, which I read the label while we were eating and I wish that I hadn't made them. There were 20,000 ingredients and the third one was sugar!! Next time I will toast a piece of bread for the kids or something.
Also, when I start actually teaching on the 23rd, I most likely won't be writing in this blog every night!
I forgot to mention that I lost 3 lbs last week!!!! Only 50 more to go :)
Monday, January 16, 2012
The Olympic Swimmer
I love swimming. When I am swimming I feel like nobody else is around. I feel peaceful and it takes me back to my mermaid days. I use to love to pretend that I was a mermaid. I actually thought that I was one until my brothers told me they weren't real. Let me clarify, I love swimming in the pool. I don't like swimming in the ocean, I don't like sharks.
Today I went to the gym to swim for my workout. I was so excited because I just knew that if I went at 12:00 the schedule said that 8 lanes would be open, this had to mean that I would get my own lap lane. 8 lanes at lunch, there should be plenty of lanes open. I was wrong. I nearly ran up the stairs to get to the pool, I was so excited about swimming, its been awhile. I jumped into a lane and right when I was getting ready to take off I heard, "May I share a lane with you?" I wanted to yell "NO you can't share a lane with me, I've been thinking about swimming in my own lane all morning." Of course I didn't, I said sure that would be great. "That would be great?" Really? I had to add in that not only could she share a lane with me but it sounded like I won the lottery or something.
Anyways, we discussed who would swim on what side and off we went. Well off she went. I patiently waited for her to get to the other side so we wouldn't be swimming next to each other. After seeing her swim for 2 seconds I realized it wouldn't be a problem us swimming next to each other. She was really fast!! So not only am I sharing a lane, but I am sharing a lane with a swimmer who might stop me in the middle of a lap and ask if I am swimming or drowning.
It worked out fine. I focused my whole attention while swimming on her, making sure that I didn't go over to her side. I was so worried that I was going to make a wrong movement and I would give her a black eye. So instead of being able to focus on myself and my own peace I had to focus on her and what she was doing so that we could both share the lane.
If only we did that more in life. Focus on other people and how their doing so that we can share a lane with them. We need to challenge ourselves to focus on others and how we can help them get from one end of the pool to the next. Maybe it is something small like a kind word or a meal. We need to start swimming in the same lane with others.
I had about 10 minutes left of my swimming and I saw a lane come open. So of course the first thing that I did was jump out of the pool and grab that lane before anyone else could. Leaving my Olympic swimmer by herself. I wonder how many times I've done that in the past in life? Leaving someone in a lane by themselves while I jump to another lane because it works out best for me or my life.
I'm sure it didn't bother the Olympic swimmer one bit and it gave me such a wonderful peaceful end to my workout, being in a lane by myself. That is swimming though, not life. In life we need people in our lanes at times and we need to jump in other people's lanes when needed.
All I'm saying is I want to be more aware of people around me and ask myself if they need someone to jump in their lane with them.
Ice cream eaten: NONE
Ice cream thought about: NONE until now!
Today I went to the gym to swim for my workout. I was so excited because I just knew that if I went at 12:00 the schedule said that 8 lanes would be open, this had to mean that I would get my own lap lane. 8 lanes at lunch, there should be plenty of lanes open. I was wrong. I nearly ran up the stairs to get to the pool, I was so excited about swimming, its been awhile. I jumped into a lane and right when I was getting ready to take off I heard, "May I share a lane with you?" I wanted to yell "NO you can't share a lane with me, I've been thinking about swimming in my own lane all morning." Of course I didn't, I said sure that would be great. "That would be great?" Really? I had to add in that not only could she share a lane with me but it sounded like I won the lottery or something.
Anyways, we discussed who would swim on what side and off we went. Well off she went. I patiently waited for her to get to the other side so we wouldn't be swimming next to each other. After seeing her swim for 2 seconds I realized it wouldn't be a problem us swimming next to each other. She was really fast!! So not only am I sharing a lane, but I am sharing a lane with a swimmer who might stop me in the middle of a lap and ask if I am swimming or drowning.
It worked out fine. I focused my whole attention while swimming on her, making sure that I didn't go over to her side. I was so worried that I was going to make a wrong movement and I would give her a black eye. So instead of being able to focus on myself and my own peace I had to focus on her and what she was doing so that we could both share the lane.
If only we did that more in life. Focus on other people and how their doing so that we can share a lane with them. We need to challenge ourselves to focus on others and how we can help them get from one end of the pool to the next. Maybe it is something small like a kind word or a meal. We need to start swimming in the same lane with others.
I had about 10 minutes left of my swimming and I saw a lane come open. So of course the first thing that I did was jump out of the pool and grab that lane before anyone else could. Leaving my Olympic swimmer by herself. I wonder how many times I've done that in the past in life? Leaving someone in a lane by themselves while I jump to another lane because it works out best for me or my life.
I'm sure it didn't bother the Olympic swimmer one bit and it gave me such a wonderful peaceful end to my workout, being in a lane by myself. That is swimming though, not life. In life we need people in our lanes at times and we need to jump in other people's lanes when needed.
All I'm saying is I want to be more aware of people around me and ask myself if they need someone to jump in their lane with them.
Ice cream eaten: NONE
Ice cream thought about: NONE until now!
Sunday, January 15, 2012
The Honeymoon is OVER
Ice cream eaten today: NONE
Ice cream eaten yesterday: 4 bites :)
I started my day yesterday with a 4.14 mile run. The first two miles I ran without listening to music and it was nice to just take in my surroundings and enjoy the cold air. At mile two I turned on the music and it pumped me up for my next two miles. I finished in 50 minutes.
I came home and made Kate's b-day cake from scratch, so of course I HAD to have a piece at the party. I felt good though, I ate half of a piece with about 4-5 bites of ice cream on the side. It was sooo good. It unfortunately reminded me of how much I loooove sweets. It is amazing how just eating a small serving of something you would normally eat 3 or 4 helpings of gives you a sense of a accomplishment. I felt like this past week I did very well. I didn't completely give up sweets (that's just not realistic) but I am learning how to eat them every once in a while and eat a small portion. Luckily all the ice cream was eaten at the party so I didn't have the temptation in the house.
Today I went to the gym and lifted weights. I also did 15 min. on the bike and 15 min. on the elliptical. I did NOT want to go to the gym today. I almost talked myself in to having another rest day :) I think just getting in the habit of going helps.
So you know how when you start something you are really excited?? Well I think the honeymoon period is over, today I wasn't too excited about eating healthy and working out. Although, I did stick with it, I'm not happy about it.
I just really want to eat a few bags of chips, a gallon of Breyers butter pecan, Chili's chips and salsa, and anything else that has a lot of sugar in it and isn't good for me.
Ice cream eaten yesterday: 4 bites :)
I started my day yesterday with a 4.14 mile run. The first two miles I ran without listening to music and it was nice to just take in my surroundings and enjoy the cold air. At mile two I turned on the music and it pumped me up for my next two miles. I finished in 50 minutes.
I came home and made Kate's b-day cake from scratch, so of course I HAD to have a piece at the party. I felt good though, I ate half of a piece with about 4-5 bites of ice cream on the side. It was sooo good. It unfortunately reminded me of how much I loooove sweets. It is amazing how just eating a small serving of something you would normally eat 3 or 4 helpings of gives you a sense of a accomplishment. I felt like this past week I did very well. I didn't completely give up sweets (that's just not realistic) but I am learning how to eat them every once in a while and eat a small portion. Luckily all the ice cream was eaten at the party so I didn't have the temptation in the house.
Today I went to the gym and lifted weights. I also did 15 min. on the bike and 15 min. on the elliptical. I did NOT want to go to the gym today. I almost talked myself in to having another rest day :) I think just getting in the habit of going helps.
So you know how when you start something you are really excited?? Well I think the honeymoon period is over, today I wasn't too excited about eating healthy and working out. Although, I did stick with it, I'm not happy about it.
I just really want to eat a few bags of chips, a gallon of Breyers butter pecan, Chili's chips and salsa, and anything else that has a lot of sugar in it and isn't good for me.
Friday, January 13, 2012
The Store
Ice Cream Eaten: NONE
There is ice cream in the house and I really don't care!!
Kate's birthday party is in the morning and we have a tradition of always making cakes together, from scratch, for the kids birthdays. I'd like to say that we started it because I have lots of time and enjoy cooking but then I'd be lying. We started it a few years ago because I couldn't believe that it cost 30 something dollars to buy a cake and I could just make one for pretty much nothing. Also, I read Michael Pollan's books a few years ago and he says not to eat any junk food unless you make it from scratch. So for a few years I adapted this thinking in our house. Trying to get back to that now.
I've been to the store 3 times today. The first two times I didn't buy ice cream. Fearful that it might not be there in the morning for the party :) After Kate's dance class tonight she asked me if I remembered everything. I said I thought so. She then started listing off items and I said yes to almost most of them. "Ice cream to go with the cake?" Umm... "Mommy you have to have ice cream with cake!" So needless to say Kate and I went to the store. I didn't get Breyers Butter Pecan because that was just like waving meat in front of a lion. So I decided to choose a brand that still met my less than 5 ingredient rule (also taken from Michael Pollan's Food Rules) that I am trying to follow. The rule is don't buy anything that has more than 5 ingredients.
Anyways, I got Vanilla. Do I like Vanilla? yes. Do I love it? no. Could I still eat the whole gallon in one sitting, yes!! For some reason I don't want to. I know that tomorrow morning I have to get up at the crack of dawn and run 4 miles in the cold and a gallon of ice cream isn't what I'm wanting. So I decided to have a small glass of red wine (good for the heart and the soul).
My CC (Coach Cori) gave me a great mental analogy on our run yesterday. She told me about when I fall off the bandwagon not to continue to fall off and quit. Think of it like a phone she said, if you drop your phone you don't pick it up and keep throwing it on the ground until its broken. Then you have to start from the beginning with a new phone.
So, if I do fall off the bandwagon with eating I'm not going to continue to throw myself on the ground until I'm broken. I'm going to realize that one little crack is better than being completely broken. I'm going to do what every teacher does, throw some hot glue on it and it will be good as new.
Previously if I've overeaten then I continue to overeat for the day because I tell myself that I already blew my day of eating well. I continue to throw myself on the ground over and over again.
Today was my rest day. So what did I do? Rest. Although going to the grocery store might count as some activity. I also had to clean my house since I have a party in the morning. So today I cleaned, went to the store, went to the store, went to the store, drank a glass (ok 2 glasses but they were small) of wine, played basketball, drove to dance class, and wrote on the blog. So about 2 miles today!
There is ice cream in the house and I really don't care!!
Kate's birthday party is in the morning and we have a tradition of always making cakes together, from scratch, for the kids birthdays. I'd like to say that we started it because I have lots of time and enjoy cooking but then I'd be lying. We started it a few years ago because I couldn't believe that it cost 30 something dollars to buy a cake and I could just make one for pretty much nothing. Also, I read Michael Pollan's books a few years ago and he says not to eat any junk food unless you make it from scratch. So for a few years I adapted this thinking in our house. Trying to get back to that now.
I've been to the store 3 times today. The first two times I didn't buy ice cream. Fearful that it might not be there in the morning for the party :) After Kate's dance class tonight she asked me if I remembered everything. I said I thought so. She then started listing off items and I said yes to almost most of them. "Ice cream to go with the cake?" Umm... "Mommy you have to have ice cream with cake!" So needless to say Kate and I went to the store. I didn't get Breyers Butter Pecan because that was just like waving meat in front of a lion. So I decided to choose a brand that still met my less than 5 ingredient rule (also taken from Michael Pollan's Food Rules) that I am trying to follow. The rule is don't buy anything that has more than 5 ingredients.
Anyways, I got Vanilla. Do I like Vanilla? yes. Do I love it? no. Could I still eat the whole gallon in one sitting, yes!! For some reason I don't want to. I know that tomorrow morning I have to get up at the crack of dawn and run 4 miles in the cold and a gallon of ice cream isn't what I'm wanting. So I decided to have a small glass of red wine (good for the heart and the soul).
My CC (Coach Cori) gave me a great mental analogy on our run yesterday. She told me about when I fall off the bandwagon not to continue to fall off and quit. Think of it like a phone she said, if you drop your phone you don't pick it up and keep throwing it on the ground until its broken. Then you have to start from the beginning with a new phone.
So, if I do fall off the bandwagon with eating I'm not going to continue to throw myself on the ground until I'm broken. I'm going to realize that one little crack is better than being completely broken. I'm going to do what every teacher does, throw some hot glue on it and it will be good as new.
Previously if I've overeaten then I continue to overeat for the day because I tell myself that I already blew my day of eating well. I continue to throw myself on the ground over and over again.
Today was my rest day. So what did I do? Rest. Although going to the grocery store might count as some activity. I also had to clean my house since I have a party in the morning. So today I cleaned, went to the store, went to the store, went to the store, drank a glass (ok 2 glasses but they were small) of wine, played basketball, drove to dance class, and wrote on the blog. So about 2 miles today!
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Dodging Traffic
Ice cream eaten today: NONE
Times tempted to eat ice cream: 1
*I was tempted mentally to overeat much more than 1 time, but I was really tempted and almost didn't fight it 1 time
When you're running with your running coach and they tell you to sprint across a busy street by gosh you sprint or you are going to get hit. Of course I'm exaggerating a little but I'm glad I listened. Today was probably my best feeling run. I don't know why but there was a certain peace I felt today running and of course the feeling afterwards is indescribable.
When my coach Cori told me I ran 11:29 average mile (we ran 3 miles), I couldn't believe it. I was so excited. Last week when we ran I ran 12:44. Let me clarify, I ran only 3 miles today. Cori ran 10 miles this morning and then 3 miles after school with me. She is a running machine! She is really good at distracting me and somehow pushing me at the same time. She really needs to start some type of personal trainer business.
Dodging traffic in our lives is really hard to do. There are so many "things" that can keep us busy and we miss out on what life has to offer. We forget to live life or we live it without Joy. I hope that I can really start to look for life in places or people that I normally wouldn't look.
I hope to Listen to Life through God.
P.S.
Today I thought about going and getting the waffle cone with triple scoops that I really wanted the other night. I knew that nobody would know (but God of course) and I told myself just do it this once. Then I thought how I would have to put it on my blog!!! So thank you to anyone out there reading. You helped me to not overeat today.
P.S.S
By the way, I'm not saying that I can't ever eat ice cream. I just know that I don't have any self-control with it right now (like I eat the whole carton). I am trying to train myself to be able to have ice cream, or any other "sweets", as a rare occasion and be able to eat it in moderation when I do have it.
Times tempted to eat ice cream: 1
*I was tempted mentally to overeat much more than 1 time, but I was really tempted and almost didn't fight it 1 time
When you're running with your running coach and they tell you to sprint across a busy street by gosh you sprint or you are going to get hit. Of course I'm exaggerating a little but I'm glad I listened. Today was probably my best feeling run. I don't know why but there was a certain peace I felt today running and of course the feeling afterwards is indescribable.
When my coach Cori told me I ran 11:29 average mile (we ran 3 miles), I couldn't believe it. I was so excited. Last week when we ran I ran 12:44. Let me clarify, I ran only 3 miles today. Cori ran 10 miles this morning and then 3 miles after school with me. She is a running machine! She is really good at distracting me and somehow pushing me at the same time. She really needs to start some type of personal trainer business.
Dodging traffic in our lives is really hard to do. There are so many "things" that can keep us busy and we miss out on what life has to offer. We forget to live life or we live it without Joy. I hope that I can really start to look for life in places or people that I normally wouldn't look.
I hope to Listen to Life through God.
P.S.
Today I thought about going and getting the waffle cone with triple scoops that I really wanted the other night. I knew that nobody would know (but God of course) and I told myself just do it this once. Then I thought how I would have to put it on my blog!!! So thank you to anyone out there reading. You helped me to not overeat today.
P.S.S
By the way, I'm not saying that I can't ever eat ice cream. I just know that I don't have any self-control with it right now (like I eat the whole carton). I am trying to train myself to be able to have ice cream, or any other "sweets", as a rare occasion and be able to eat it in moderation when I do have it.
Going Through Withdrawal
Ice cream eaten: NONE
I think I am in sugar withdrawal if that is possible. I feel like maybe I should be in a rehab facility for sugar and junk food. Yesterday afternoon my head started hurting and I became really cranky. Not that being cranky is something odd (we all have cranky days) but it is when I am tracked out (that's language for year round schools-means being off work for 3 weeks). I just felt irritated...I really do think its because my body is use to eating so much sugar and processed food and in the past week I haven't done so. I feel much better this morning. I keep remembering something our Pastor at our church said about stress. He told us that we weren't meant for stress, we are meant for JOY. That might not sound like anything profound to you but in the past 3 months it has really stuck with me and whenever I feel stressed out about working and trying to be a good mom and wife at the same time I think about that. I think about how God didn't make us to live our lives stressed all the time. I am meant for Joy.
What if food brings me joy?? Well, I guess it only brings me joy for the moment and then I feel miserable for overeating. So I guess I need to work on food in moderation bringing me joy. Food is not my main source of joy thankfully but it is something that is a daily struggle for me.
Yesterday I jumped into a pile of resources. What I mean by that is it started with my friend Amy bringing me over 20 running/health magazines (Thanks Amy). I wanted to read all of them but of course only had time for one or two. It is very inspiring to read articles that help build my knowledge or support what I am trying to do. I also took out my Michael Pollan (click on his name and the link will come up) books that I've read a few times and decided to reread through them (skimming). If you haven't read his books I strongly suggest reading them. A few of my friends suggested that I watch Food Inc. which I decided to watch yesterday too (it was raining all day). I also suggest you watch this movie, I loved it!! About 3 years ago our family really tried to eat "real foods" and I worked on making a lot of our foods from scratch. In the past year I've kind of not done it. So, I am going to work on going to more Farmer's Markets and buying locally.
I let the kids watch the movie with me and Reece says he wants to be a vegetarian now.
Amy and I went running outside for 2 miles (with some killer hills) yesterday. We were ready to run in the rain, we weren't going to let anything stop us, but thankfully it stopped right before we left. She taught me a floor routine (not gymnastics but at home exercises for arms and stomach). When I wanted to quit one of the moves or exercises she tried to be tough with me like Cori but it wasn't working for her and we both just giggled uncontrollably. I now have some good floor exercises I can do on my own.
This afternoon I am running with Cori my "coach". We are running 3 miles. I hope I do better than last week.
I think I am in sugar withdrawal if that is possible. I feel like maybe I should be in a rehab facility for sugar and junk food. Yesterday afternoon my head started hurting and I became really cranky. Not that being cranky is something odd (we all have cranky days) but it is when I am tracked out (that's language for year round schools-means being off work for 3 weeks). I just felt irritated...I really do think its because my body is use to eating so much sugar and processed food and in the past week I haven't done so. I feel much better this morning. I keep remembering something our Pastor at our church said about stress. He told us that we weren't meant for stress, we are meant for JOY. That might not sound like anything profound to you but in the past 3 months it has really stuck with me and whenever I feel stressed out about working and trying to be a good mom and wife at the same time I think about that. I think about how God didn't make us to live our lives stressed all the time. I am meant for Joy.
What if food brings me joy?? Well, I guess it only brings me joy for the moment and then I feel miserable for overeating. So I guess I need to work on food in moderation bringing me joy. Food is not my main source of joy thankfully but it is something that is a daily struggle for me.
Yesterday I jumped into a pile of resources. What I mean by that is it started with my friend Amy bringing me over 20 running/health magazines (Thanks Amy). I wanted to read all of them but of course only had time for one or two. It is very inspiring to read articles that help build my knowledge or support what I am trying to do. I also took out my Michael Pollan (click on his name and the link will come up) books that I've read a few times and decided to reread through them (skimming). If you haven't read his books I strongly suggest reading them. A few of my friends suggested that I watch Food Inc. which I decided to watch yesterday too (it was raining all day). I also suggest you watch this movie, I loved it!! About 3 years ago our family really tried to eat "real foods" and I worked on making a lot of our foods from scratch. In the past year I've kind of not done it. So, I am going to work on going to more Farmer's Markets and buying locally.
I let the kids watch the movie with me and Reece says he wants to be a vegetarian now.
Amy and I went running outside for 2 miles (with some killer hills) yesterday. We were ready to run in the rain, we weren't going to let anything stop us, but thankfully it stopped right before we left. She taught me a floor routine (not gymnastics but at home exercises for arms and stomach). When I wanted to quit one of the moves or exercises she tried to be tough with me like Cori but it wasn't working for her and we both just giggled uncontrollably. I now have some good floor exercises I can do on my own.
This afternoon I am running with Cori my "coach". We are running 3 miles. I hope I do better than last week.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
There's A First Time For Everything
Ice cream eaten: 1 but it was planned!!!
There is a first for everything:
I do want to say that for the first time in my life I didn't eat all my ice cream. I left some in the cup. Yes, you heard me right. I left ice cream in the cup. It called my name a few times but I said no. I know that I have NEVER not eaten all my ice cream. Do I wish I had that leftover ice cream right now? Yes.
I told myself a week ago that I was going to get an ice cream tonight when we went to Cold Stone to celebrate Kate's b-day. What I did differently was I looked up the nutritional value before I went. I wrote down different types of ice cream and yogurts. I went in with a plan...My plan was to get yogurt because I could get a larger amount for the same caloric intake as a smaller ice cream. Well of course they didn't have any yogurt, apparently they only have it during the summer. Like that is the only time people eat yogurt. I was mad..here my one night for the week that I was going to get something sweet and they were out of what I wanted. Good thing I wrote down a few ice creams that were a good choice.
I kept asking the lady if she was sure they didn't have any yogurt. I think she wished that they did. She told me a few times that they had sorbet. I'm not a sorbet kind of gal. Although I'm not even sure if I would have really liked their yogurt. I'm not sure that it is exactly what I was picturing in my head.
What did I get? I got a small butter pecan in a cup for 320 calories (the girl tried to talk me in to a waffle cone, which would have been 200 more calories for the waffle cone. I turned her down. Really?? You're going to try and talk an overweight lady into eating more calories??
Today I ran 3 miles on the treadmill and it felt really good. I pushed myself and felt amazing afterwards. I started off the day with not wanting to go. I told myself that it was Kate's birthday which meant I should get a break...then I mentally slapped myself and realized I was coming up with an excuse. I also thought how I should run because it was Kate's birthday. So that I can be healthy and be around to celebrate many more with her.
There is a first for everything:
I do want to say that for the first time in my life I didn't eat all my ice cream. I left some in the cup. Yes, you heard me right. I left ice cream in the cup. It called my name a few times but I said no. I know that I have NEVER not eaten all my ice cream. Do I wish I had that leftover ice cream right now? Yes.
I told myself a week ago that I was going to get an ice cream tonight when we went to Cold Stone to celebrate Kate's b-day. What I did differently was I looked up the nutritional value before I went. I wrote down different types of ice cream and yogurts. I went in with a plan...My plan was to get yogurt because I could get a larger amount for the same caloric intake as a smaller ice cream. Well of course they didn't have any yogurt, apparently they only have it during the summer. Like that is the only time people eat yogurt. I was mad..here my one night for the week that I was going to get something sweet and they were out of what I wanted. Good thing I wrote down a few ice creams that were a good choice.
I kept asking the lady if she was sure they didn't have any yogurt. I think she wished that they did. She told me a few times that they had sorbet. I'm not a sorbet kind of gal. Although I'm not even sure if I would have really liked their yogurt. I'm not sure that it is exactly what I was picturing in my head.
What did I get? I got a small butter pecan in a cup for 320 calories (the girl tried to talk me in to a waffle cone, which would have been 200 more calories for the waffle cone. I turned her down. Really?? You're going to try and talk an overweight lady into eating more calories??
Today I ran 3 miles on the treadmill and it felt really good. I pushed myself and felt amazing afterwards. I started off the day with not wanting to go. I told myself that it was Kate's birthday which meant I should get a break...then I mentally slapped myself and realized I was coming up with an excuse. I also thought how I should run because it was Kate's birthday. So that I can be healthy and be around to celebrate many more with her.
Monday, January 9, 2012
Here Come the Fat Pictures
I decided to put up an actual picture of myself. I haven't let anyone post a picture of me on facebook in the past two years since I decided to get fat. Well I did put a black and white cropped picture that didn't really look like me on there a few weeks ago.
So, here is trying to be true to myself. This picture isn't cropped, nobody stood on a chair to getter a higher angle so I would look skinnier, no black and white so you can't see the double chin, I didn't turn to the right so that it looks like I weigh less, I didn't ask to be in the middle so that the people around me would cut me off, I didn't extend my chin just exactly so that hopefully 10-20 lbs will be taken off of my face, and finally I didn't post a picture of me from 1990 whenever. This is me right now, how I look, without any fancy well I'm sure most of you know what I'm talking about...
Here's to trying to be true to myself. Thankful that God made me who I am and I'm proud of it. So if I've asked you to not post a picture of me in the past 2-3 years, go for it, and if you see random pictures show up on my facebook that are from months ago then I am finally approving them. They must actually show what I look like and heaven forbid anyone get fat and have pictures on facebook.
So here's to fat pictures of myself on facebook :)
So, here is trying to be true to myself. This picture isn't cropped, nobody stood on a chair to getter a higher angle so I would look skinnier, no black and white so you can't see the double chin, I didn't turn to the right so that it looks like I weigh less, I didn't ask to be in the middle so that the people around me would cut me off, I didn't extend my chin just exactly so that hopefully 10-20 lbs will be taken off of my face, and finally I didn't post a picture of me from 1990 whenever. This is me right now, how I look, without any fancy well I'm sure most of you know what I'm talking about...
Here's to trying to be true to myself. Thankful that God made me who I am and I'm proud of it. So if I've asked you to not post a picture of me in the past 2-3 years, go for it, and if you see random pictures show up on my facebook that are from months ago then I am finally approving them. They must actually show what I look like and heaven forbid anyone get fat and have pictures on facebook.
So here's to fat pictures of myself on facebook :)
The Day of Chili
Ice cream eaten today: NONE
No not Chili's my favorite restaurant that I could eat 20 refills of the chips from but Eric's chili. I love it when he makes Chili because our family can eat it for days, well at least with this batch we will. I had a bowl for lunch and a bowl for dinner. Yes, just one bowl, no seconds, or thirds, or that fourth bowl that just makes you feel sick.
Today I went to the Y and lifted weights with Audrey (thank you for showing me how to work some of them). I also did 20 minutes on a machine that made it seem like I was skiing (not an elliptical but its sister or something). Today was just supposed to be a weight lifting day. I am not counting what I did on "The Machine" because I think I only burned 30 calories (that's how slow I was going) and I could have easily been mistaken for a person that was just standing on "The Machine". Needless to say I know how to start it and end it.
I met with my "coach" Cori and she is hot on my tail. She made sure that I knew my "Rest" day on my schedule meant something besides sitting on the couch (which I did know :) I expressed my concerns with her about how when I go back to work on the 23rd I am worried about not finding time to workout. I gave her the example of how on the 23rd I have a club after school til 5 and then Reece has basketball at 7 and Eric has to work. Well she said, "Quit the excuses! Monday is a weightlifting day and you can lift at home early in the morning before school." She then said, "What else?" I then realized I was already making excuses for helping myself quit when I go back to work.
Supposed to Be Funny Story:
Today I pondered on how I've actually gone to Dairy Queen (not today) and ordered 2 large Heath Blizzards and talked out loud to myself at the register about how one was for my husband in the car. Of course he wasn't in the car they were both for me!!! Ahhhhh!!!
So, overall today has been a pretty rainy, boring day. No overeating, no runner's high, no feeling guilty because I just ate an amount of food that could feed a small village, just a good day.
No not Chili's my favorite restaurant that I could eat 20 refills of the chips from but Eric's chili. I love it when he makes Chili because our family can eat it for days, well at least with this batch we will. I had a bowl for lunch and a bowl for dinner. Yes, just one bowl, no seconds, or thirds, or that fourth bowl that just makes you feel sick.
Today I went to the Y and lifted weights with Audrey (thank you for showing me how to work some of them). I also did 20 minutes on a machine that made it seem like I was skiing (not an elliptical but its sister or something). Today was just supposed to be a weight lifting day. I am not counting what I did on "The Machine" because I think I only burned 30 calories (that's how slow I was going) and I could have easily been mistaken for a person that was just standing on "The Machine". Needless to say I know how to start it and end it.
I met with my "coach" Cori and she is hot on my tail. She made sure that I knew my "Rest" day on my schedule meant something besides sitting on the couch (which I did know :) I expressed my concerns with her about how when I go back to work on the 23rd I am worried about not finding time to workout. I gave her the example of how on the 23rd I have a club after school til 5 and then Reece has basketball at 7 and Eric has to work. Well she said, "Quit the excuses! Monday is a weightlifting day and you can lift at home early in the morning before school." She then said, "What else?" I then realized I was already making excuses for helping myself quit when I go back to work.
Supposed to Be Funny Story:
Today I pondered on how I've actually gone to Dairy Queen (not today) and ordered 2 large Heath Blizzards and talked out loud to myself at the register about how one was for my husband in the car. Of course he wasn't in the car they were both for me!!! Ahhhhh!!!
So, overall today has been a pretty rainy, boring day. No overeating, no runner's high, no feeling guilty because I just ate an amount of food that could feed a small village, just a good day.
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Today's Run
Today I ran 4.5 miles on the treadmill with some elevation along the way. So, I am thinking it is like 4 miles outside maybe? It is amazing how good I felt after running. It is even better that I didn't think I could do it and then I talked myself into thinking I could!!
I do want to say thank you to Cori B., who by the way is a young, fit, seasoned marathoner- for encouraging me to run, making a running plan for my training, checking in with me, running with me, and pushing me!!!
Ice cream eaten today: NONE
I do want to say thank you to Cori B., who by the way is a young, fit, seasoned marathoner- for encouraging me to run, making a running plan for my training, checking in with me, running with me, and pushing me!!!
Ice cream eaten today: NONE
I'm Fat
Eric and I have decided to run a half marathon to celebrate our 10 year wedding anniversary. We wanted to do something together that neither one of us has ever done before. I also wanted to get myself back in shape and help fight my addiction to food. I love food so much. I think about it all the time. I am an emotional eater-I eat when I'm happy, sad, worried, nervous, well pretty much all the time. I really have issues with portions. I can eat a whole gallon of ice cream in one sitting. I overeat everything. I also like to sneak food so that my kids won't eat the junk that I want, like Dairy Queen's heath blizzard (I was eating one almost every day for a few months). Can you tell that I am having a sugar withdrawal?? I'm thinking about all the sweet foods I miss and its only been a week since I've had a "sweet".
Enough about the food I love.
3 Years ago I weighed 123lbs and now I've managed to climb up to 176.4 (as of this morning) I guess eating Dairy Queen every day and quitting exercising didn't help. I am 5'4 (actually 5'3 and a half but I like to round up) so weighing 176 isn't healthy and I don't like it. If you weigh 176 and are short and you are happy with it then great but I'm not.
Enough about how fat I am :)
My Goals:
1.Not to look at being healthy as a number on a scale but a way of life that I will continue and pass down to my own children
2.Change the way that I look at myself
3. Fall in love with exercising again instead of Breyers.
4. Eat healthy from all food groups, not go on some fad diet
Why am I writing a blog about this?
To distract me from eating. Also, because it will help me stay motivated.
Enough about the food I love.
3 Years ago I weighed 123lbs and now I've managed to climb up to 176.4 (as of this morning) I guess eating Dairy Queen every day and quitting exercising didn't help. I am 5'4 (actually 5'3 and a half but I like to round up) so weighing 176 isn't healthy and I don't like it. If you weigh 176 and are short and you are happy with it then great but I'm not.
Enough about how fat I am :)
My Goals:
1.Not to look at being healthy as a number on a scale but a way of life that I will continue and pass down to my own children
2.Change the way that I look at myself
3. Fall in love with exercising again instead of Breyers.
4. Eat healthy from all food groups, not go on some fad diet
Why am I writing a blog about this?
To distract me from eating. Also, because it will help me stay motivated.
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