I Forgot I Was Fat

When you are working out and eating healthy you expect to magically get skinny. That is why people don't stay with their resolutions. They don't see results quick enough. I'm not falling for that excuse though. I know eventually I will see results, I actually already do!!

This morning I woke up and was feeling really skinny to say the least. I put on my normal jeans and decided to put on a shirt that I haven't been able to wear in a few years. I felt good in it and thought I looked good...
Then I looked in the mirror. It was like a Thanksgiving Turkey trying to squeeze into a small water bottle. It was bad. Real bad. Does fat guy in a little coat ring a bell??

Maybe one day soon. It was kind of funny. I should have taken a picture so in  a few months I can look back and laugh even more.

I've been doing that lately forgetting that I am still fat. It is a funny feeling. You feel so good and then you see a mirror and its like crap, the fat is still there. I actually think that this is a good thing. A good thing that I feel so positive about myself that I actually think I look different than I actually do. Don't get me wrong I still think I am beautiful fat or not :) But the fat is still there. So, it is a good wake up call looking in the mirror. For so long I don't think I truly looked in the mirror and saw myself as I really was, or the way God saw me. I looked in the mirror and all I saw was an ugly person who was gaining weight, then more weight, more, and so on, until now the whopping 171 that I am now.

If you weigh more than 171 and it offends you that I am talking about needing to lose 50 pounds then remember that we are all different. A person who weighs 125 could still see themselves as fat and ugly no matter what the number is. Also in the health and doctor world I am obese. So whether you need to lose 10 pounds or maybe 100 pounds we all need to look at ourselves as beautiful people fat or not. I would rather be beautiful and healthy opposed to beautiful and fat. So if you are beautiful and fat try to shoot for the beautiful and healthy, it is worth it.

Either way I am still beautiful because  Psalm 139:14 says "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;  your works are wonderful, I know that full well." My Father in heaven made me and I need to be careful that what I am putting in my body glorifies Him. I continue to pray that instead of relying on food I will rely on Him for comfort.

So there you go. Deep thoughts by Deaton.

Craving Something Besides Food

Ice cream eaten this weekend: NONE

Today hasn't been that exciting. I swam 30 minutes today and of course had to share a lane. For the first half I was with a normal swimmer and the second half another olympic swimmer. There wasn't anything peaceful about it, I was just trying not to drown from all the waves in the pool (it was busy!!). Nothing inspiring went through my head, unless you include trying to remember how to breathe. Today I did ok on my eating. I didn't over eat (is it overeat or over eat?) I probably should have had one Bud Light tonight  instead of 3 but I'm not too worried about it. I didn't do any impulse eating, I even skipped all the yummy deserts at church, thanks to Eric for being my support.

Today for the first time I felt like I was craving that "runners high". Eric ran the 5 mile course and came back all positive and it was of course easy for him and he hasn't run in 2 weeks. Yes, somehow he can just step outside and run oh 5 or 10 miles whatever he wants. He's very athletic that way. I've never seen him not do well at a sport.

Anyways, I was craving the positive energy. Not that I was feeling negative but I just can't get out of my mind that feeling of how I felt after my 5 mile run. Yes I said it, I was craving something besides food. Uh oh, what is going on?? I am craving RUNNING!!!

So, I went to the Y and went swimming. Today was a cross training day.

I am sooo excited that today on weigh in I was 171 pounds!!! Hopefully I will get below 170 this week.

I allowed myself to share a slice of pizza with Kate at Whole Foods tonight for my dinner. Their slices are really big so cutting it in half gave us each a normal slice. It's been awhile since I've eaten pizza. It felt good to be able to eat it in moderation. Normally I would have eaten 2 or 3 slices plus something else for dinner. Moderation is the key.

Well moderation and everytime that I want to lose self-control or a negative comment comes in my mind, I pray for strength from God who is the only one that can give me that strength. I'm trying to turn to Him instead of to food.