My Timeline of Being Fat

Today after school was a wonderful run. I met with my CC (coach Cori) and ran 4 miles in 42 minutes. She of course taught me a strategy to get up hills. So of course the first hill she said no talking. Then when we got to the top she asked me what I thought about going up the hill.

 I told her and most of my thoughts were random thoughts about running: my knee is hurting, I like running in the mornings better, when is this hill going to be over, come on you can do it, and a few other random thoughts. She told me on the next hill I need to focus on things around me.

 So on the next hill I noticed: 3 cars go by, some pretty flowers, the green sign that was close to my finish of the hill, pretty flower pots, the really nice lawns that must cost the HOA to be out  of the roof, two pieces of trash that I should have picked up, and how quiet and still it was. Believe it or not it really helped.

Oh and at the end of the second hill she edged ahead of me which through my "look at my environment thinking" out the window. I started thinking, "Wait a minute did I slow down? Why is she getting ahead of me?" Which she told me afterwards was on purpose so that I need to not focus on other runners around me (I am pretty competitive and my goal is to enjoy and finish the 13.1 not sprint the first mile because other people are blowing by me).

She also really made me think about what am I going to do after I reach my goal of running a 13.1?

In the past I've gotten in shape and then once I reach my goal of whatever it is I am working towards I kind of lose interest and then I put the pounds back on. It has been a vicious weight cycle for a good part of my life.

I really want this time to be different. I want to be able to run the half-marathon, lose some weight, and change my eating habits for the rest of my life. I don't want to reach my goal and then go back to eating everything in sight.

I'm pretty sure I started emotionally eating a year or two after my mom passed away. It took that long for me to actually really believe that she wasn't coming back. So instead of turning to God for comfort I turned to food and I've been turning to it ever since. Yep, almost 15 years later from losing my mom I am trying to find something to comfort me instead of food and I am looking to the only one that can fill that hole, my Father in heaven.

Timeline:
1997 healthy
1998 healthy
1999 healthy
2000  start to get fat
2001 still fat
2002 still fat
2003 even fatter
2004 the fattest ever and I almost died delivering Reece because of my fatness-Reece born
2005 there isn't a word to describe the fatness
2006 continuing to be fat - Kate born
2007 healthy
2008 healthy
2009 healthy
2010 fat
2011 fat
2012 will be healthy

* In the past 15 years of my life I've weighed 120 lbs and 250 lbs.

OK so I guess 7 years of being fat isn't really a vicious cycle. For it to be a cycle I probably should have gone up and down in my weight a little more and from the looks of the timeline it was mostly just me being fat. At least this time I only stayed fat for 2 years.

This brings me to something, if you see me gaining weight again could you please, please slap me or ask me what is going on why am I eating enough food to feed a small village???