Eric and I got married young and it seems like we were even younger when we had kids. We quickly went from one step to the next. A year after being married I got pregnant.
I remember coming home from the hospital with Reece and us thinking, "They really let us come home with a baby?" Thankfully our survival skills kicked in and we made it through the baby years.
When you think about what a father should be many thoughts and expectations come to mind. I was raised by my mom so I've never really had anything to go by. Just what I "thought" I knew. Early on what I "thought" a father should be is different then what I think now. I remember my mom use to always tell me, "Make sure you marry a man that loves God and is a hard worker."
Eric goes above and beyond my expectations of a father. Our kids watch him like a hawk, his every move. Whatever he does Reece wants to do.
Eric is thankfully everything that I'm not. God really knew what he was doing when he put us together as parents.
I am cautious and worry all the time. He is adventurous and calm.
He is patient, firm, reliable, silly, a hard worker, involved, and compassionate.
His never ending love for his children shows in the example that he sets for them.
He cooks, cleans, does homework with the kids, plays with them, disciplines them, and most importantly prays with them each night.
I often ask myself, what do I do :) ??
I am very thankful to have a husband that is also a father. A good father. Thankful that our kids will grow up knowing what it is like to be loved by their Dad and have him in their lives. Thankful that he sets high expectations for what a father should be.
I probably don't tell you enough, but thank you Eric. You are an amazing father.
Thank you for showing your kids how to love and how to have fun.
Thank you for showing them how to love and respect your wife.
Thank you for giving them confidence and letting them know they can trust you.
Thank you for showing them how to love God.
Sunday, June 17, 2012
Eric and I got married young and it seems like we were even younger when we had kids. We quickly went from one step to the next. A year after being married I got pregnant.
I remember coming home from the hospital with Reece and us thinking, "They really let us come home with a baby?" Thankfully our survival skills kicked in and we made it through the baby years.
When you think about what a father should be many thoughts and expectations come to mind. I was raised by my mom so I've never really had anything to go by. Just what I "thought" I knew. Early on what I "thought" a father should be is different then what I think now. I remember my mom use to always tell me, "Make sure you marry a man that loves God and is a hard worker."
Eric goes above and beyond my expectations of a father. Our kids watch him like a hawk, his every move. Whatever he does Reece wants to do.
Eric is thankfully everything that I'm not. God really knew what he was doing when he put us together as parents.
I am cautious and worry all the time. He is adventerous and calm.
He is patient, firm, reliable, silly, a hard worker, involved, and compassionate.
His never ending love for his children shows in the example that he sets for them.
He cooks, cleans, does homework with the kids, plays with them, discipline thems, and most importantly prays with them each night.
I often ask myself, what do I do :) ??
I am very thankful to have a husband that is also a father. A good father. Thankful that our kids will grow up knowing what it is like to be loved by their Dad and have him in their lives. Thankful that he sets high expectations for what a father should be.
I probably don't tell you enough, but thank you Eric. You are an amazing father.
Thank you for showing your kids how to love and how to have fun.
Thank you for showing them how to love and respect your wife.
Thank you for giving them confidence and letting them know they can trust you.
Thank you for showing them how to love God.
I remember coming home from the hospital with Reece and us thinking, "They really let us come home with a baby?" Thankfully our survival skills kicked in and we made it through the baby years.
When you think about what a father should be many thoughts and expectations come to mind. I was raised by my mom so I've never really had anything to go by. Just what I "thought" I knew. Early on what I "thought" a father should be is different then what I think now. I remember my mom use to always tell me, "Make sure you marry a man that loves God and is a hard worker."
Eric goes above and beyond my expectations of a father. Our kids watch him like a hawk, his every move. Whatever he does Reece wants to do.
Eric is thankfully everything that I'm not. God really knew what he was doing when he put us together as parents.
I am cautious and worry all the time. He is adventerous and calm.
He is patient, firm, reliable, silly, a hard worker, involved, and compassionate.
His never ending love for his children shows in the example that he sets for them.
He cooks, cleans, does homework with the kids, plays with them, discipline thems, and most importantly prays with them each night.
I often ask myself, what do I do :) ??
I am very thankful to have a husband that is also a father. A good father. Thankful that our kids will grow up knowing what it is like to be loved by their Dad and have him in their lives. Thankful that he sets high expectations for what a father should be.
I probably don't tell you enough, but thank you Eric. You are an amazing father.
Thank you for showing your kids how to love and how to have fun.
Thank you for showing them how to love and respect your wife.
Thank you for giving them confidence and letting them know they can trust you.
Thank you for showing them how to love God.
Friday, June 15, 2012
Missing You
There are many moments in life that you wish you could take back or redo. I'm sure everyone has experienced this. If not, you aren't normal. I have many of those moments. Actions or choices that I made but didn't think. Words that were spoken but shouldn't have been. Kindness that should have been but wasn't.
It is hard to admit that we have these flaws. We were made to show kindness and love to others. Sometimes I wonder how it is so hard to show love or kindness to everyone?
I see this hope of love towards others in my children and I'm thankful.
I saw this kindness and love in my mom. She was like an angel on earth. Her love and patience towards others was like nothing I've ever seen before. The way that she was able to carry on a conversation with a stranger in the store and you knew that stranger left with joy in their heart after speaking with her. The way that when she was ill (which was a lot of the time) when people would come and want to pray for her she would turn it around and pray for them.
I think of my mom in some way each day and today I am thankful. I am thankful that I knew love from my mom for almost 18 years. A love that not everyone gets to experience from a parent. I feel lucky, that I had her and her love for the amount of time I did.
Do I wonder what it would be like knowing her as an adult? Yes.
Do I wonder if she would be proud? Yes.
Do I wish she knew my husband and kids? Yes.
Are there days that I am angry with God and wonder why her? Of course.
But most of the time there are days that I am thankful. Thankful that she taught me love for everyone, kindness, patience, and once again kindness.
I have had a wonderful week, but today I am missing my mom but feeling thankful. It isn't her birthday, or the day of her death, or any of those other days that will forever be tattooed in my brain.
It is just a day. A Friday. A day that I was baking cookies and I started remembering and missing and feeling thankful. It is just a day.
Missing You
It is hard to admit that we have these flaws. We were made to show kindness and love to others. Sometimes I wonder how it is so hard to show love or kindness to everyone?
I see this hope of love towards others in my children and I'm thankful.
I saw this kindness and love in my mom. She was like an angel on earth. Her love and patience towards others was like nothing I've ever seen before. The way that she was able to carry on a conversation with a stranger in the store and you knew that stranger left with joy in their heart after speaking with her. The way that when she was ill (which was a lot of the time) when people would come and want to pray for her she would turn it around and pray for them.
I think of my mom in some way each day and today I am thankful. I am thankful that I knew love from my mom for almost 18 years. A love that not everyone gets to experience from a parent. I feel lucky, that I had her and her love for the amount of time I did.
Do I wonder what it would be like knowing her as an adult? Yes.
Do I wonder if she would be proud? Yes.
Do I wish she knew my husband and kids? Yes.
Are there days that I am angry with God and wonder why her? Of course.
But most of the time there are days that I am thankful. Thankful that she taught me love for everyone, kindness, patience, and once again kindness.
I have had a wonderful week, but today I am missing my mom but feeling thankful. It isn't her birthday, or the day of her death, or any of those other days that will forever be tattooed in my brain.
It is just a day. A Friday. A day that I was baking cookies and I started remembering and missing and feeling thankful. It is just a day.
Missing You
As my fingers touch the keys the words come out of my mouth,
missing you
your love
your smile
your faith
As my fingers touch the keys the sadness flows from my heart,
missing you
your strength
your hope
your never ending thankfulness
so small
so fragile
weak
As my fingers touch the keys the memories overwhelm my thoughts,
missing you
you're here
then gone
missing you.
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
No Running for a Few Weeks
Today I went to an Orthopaedic doctor about my Achilles issues. He told me I was smart, which I already knew, to come in while I could still walk.
I am going to do some physical therapy for the next few weeks to hopefully help. The sad news is he told me not to run for awhile :(
I ran 3 miles this morning and man do I miss it. I felt so much better today after running. I am allowed to swim, cycle, or use an elliptical. How exciting. I am just bursting with joy.
I already miss running but at least I am catching this thing early and can hopefully get back to it soon.
Today was a good eating day. I ate 3 healthy meals and 2 healthy snacks.
Right now I am hungry and am hallucinating. The computer is even starting to look like food.
I think I will go to bed so I don't start eating our furniture.
I am going to do some physical therapy for the next few weeks to hopefully help. The sad news is he told me not to run for awhile :(
I ran 3 miles this morning and man do I miss it. I felt so much better today after running. I am allowed to swim, cycle, or use an elliptical. How exciting. I am just bursting with joy.
I already miss running but at least I am catching this thing early and can hopefully get back to it soon.
Today was a good eating day. I ate 3 healthy meals and 2 healthy snacks.
Right now I am hungry and am hallucinating. The computer is even starting to look like food.
I think I will go to bed so I don't start eating our furniture.
Monday, June 11, 2012
2 Hot Friends From High School
If you use your imagination eating a piece of celery can seem like eating a Snickers Bar. You must close your eyes though.
Today while my kids (my class) were at Specials I warmed up a bowl of broccoli that I pretended was a brownie and I ate celery that in my mind was a Snickers Bar. Yes, you can trick your mind. How long will this last I don't know?? But today it worked.
I made it through the day with eating 1200 calories or less (thanks Chrissy for the tip)!! In the world of a food addict everything you do is centered around food, if you let it. The way you drive to and from work, the grocery store you go to, the planned meetings with friends around food, the trip to the teacher's lounge (where you know goodies will be), and well...the more things I write, the more it seems I have a problem.
Which I do, I'm not scared to admit it. I love food. I dream about it. There's no Matthew McConaughey fantasies here, its all Butter Pecan. Although I will say Josh Hartnett comes in 2nd place to Breyers Butter Pecan.
Today when I was collecting papers I pretended that they were different types of ice cream.
I did remember last night that I was fat though. I think when you lose weight you picture yourself as this "other person" and then when you look in the mirror and see that you aren't the imaginary you it sucks. I am glad my confidence is still there, I think I am a super model until I look in the mirror. Don't get me wrong, I'm not insecure or overly confident, I feel good about how I look. I just know what healthy is. I've been there. So I know how healthy I can be and feel. I want that again. I know that right now I am beautiful but not really healthy. I want healthy.
Tonight I ran in to 2 friends from high school while I was out to dinner. Jennifer, thanks for asking about my running and you are Beautiful!! Clark, wow you look really HOT.
It was funny running in to them because it made me think. They both looked great and here I've put on a good 40 pounds since the younger years. So in talking to them I felt it was necessary to spurt out the amount of weight I wanted to lose. Oh yes I threw it out there.
Thinking back I now think that is funny. Why did I need to tell them that I was working towards 30 more pounds? Did I feel insecure? I don't think so. I'm not really an insecure person. Did I want them to know I knew I was fat compared to high school? Not really, I'm sure they could see for themselves.
Maybe its just because a lot of times I say things without thinking. I just say what I want and what I feel.
Anyways, I feel like I've come to a fork in the road the past couple of weeks. I guess utensils are a good way to describe my situation. Do I continue down the path of healthy living? Or do I turn back towards the comfort of food.
The Path Worth Taking:
Choices
We all have them
one leads one way, one the other
it should be simple but its not
what to choose
where to go
who will help
diving into the loneliness of the empty plate
2nds please
no 3rds I'm still hungry
Are you going to eat that?
feeling empty
my heart is breaking
for another helping?
of loneliness or food
feeling fat
have another
plate that
is
feeling full.
we all are searching for that fork
in the road
which way to turn
left or
right
full or
empty
Today while my kids (my class) were at Specials I warmed up a bowl of broccoli that I pretended was a brownie and I ate celery that in my mind was a Snickers Bar. Yes, you can trick your mind. How long will this last I don't know?? But today it worked.
I made it through the day with eating 1200 calories or less (thanks Chrissy for the tip)!! In the world of a food addict everything you do is centered around food, if you let it. The way you drive to and from work, the grocery store you go to, the planned meetings with friends around food, the trip to the teacher's lounge (where you know goodies will be), and well...the more things I write, the more it seems I have a problem.
Which I do, I'm not scared to admit it. I love food. I dream about it. There's no Matthew McConaughey fantasies here, its all Butter Pecan. Although I will say Josh Hartnett comes in 2nd place to Breyers Butter Pecan.
Today when I was collecting papers I pretended that they were different types of ice cream.
I did remember last night that I was fat though. I think when you lose weight you picture yourself as this "other person" and then when you look in the mirror and see that you aren't the imaginary you it sucks. I am glad my confidence is still there, I think I am a super model until I look in the mirror. Don't get me wrong, I'm not insecure or overly confident, I feel good about how I look. I just know what healthy is. I've been there. So I know how healthy I can be and feel. I want that again. I know that right now I am beautiful but not really healthy. I want healthy.
Tonight I ran in to 2 friends from high school while I was out to dinner. Jennifer, thanks for asking about my running and you are Beautiful!! Clark, wow you look really HOT.
It was funny running in to them because it made me think. They both looked great and here I've put on a good 40 pounds since the younger years. So in talking to them I felt it was necessary to spurt out the amount of weight I wanted to lose. Oh yes I threw it out there.
Thinking back I now think that is funny. Why did I need to tell them that I was working towards 30 more pounds? Did I feel insecure? I don't think so. I'm not really an insecure person. Did I want them to know I knew I was fat compared to high school? Not really, I'm sure they could see for themselves.
Maybe its just because a lot of times I say things without thinking. I just say what I want and what I feel.
Anyways, I feel like I've come to a fork in the road the past couple of weeks. I guess utensils are a good way to describe my situation. Do I continue down the path of healthy living? Or do I turn back towards the comfort of food.
The Path Worth Taking:
Choices
We all have them
one leads one way, one the other
it should be simple but its not
what to choose
where to go
who will help
diving into the loneliness of the empty plate
2nds please
no 3rds I'm still hungry
Are you going to eat that?
feeling empty
my heart is breaking
for another helping?
of loneliness or food
feeling fat
have another
plate that
is
feeling full.
we all are searching for that fork
in the road
which way to turn
left or
right
full or
empty
Sunday, June 3, 2012
Food Intervention Needed
As I finish my 3rd bowl of Captain Crunch I think about the "old days" just a month ago. How healthy and good I felt. I was eating healthy and running 4 times a week.
Well a week before my half marathon I hurt my Achilles tendon. I rested it and was able to run the half. Since then I've had issues and it is depressing.
I really love running. It is therapy for me. It really takes the place of my overeating. So what do I do now that every time I run I feel my Achilles pop for a few day afterwards. This stinks. Right when I was on a good track something like this happens. I know I need to rest it, but running is calling my name. I need it.
Maybe the problem is that I don't need it. The only thing I really need is God. I went from relying on food to relying on running, so I need to try and rely on God. I do need something to keep me healthy though. I need to see a doctor about it, the running that is.
I also need to find something to do while my Achilles heals. Maybe swimming? I don't know.
In the past month I think I've eaten everything and I mean everything in sight. Shoveling food in to my mouth. It is disgusting. I feel gross. Why is this so hard? Why can't I be one of those people that doesn't obsess over food. Is it genetic? Why is it so hard to not eat everything around me?
Well...I have to go check and see if there is any butter pecan left. :)
Intervention Needed.
Well a week before my half marathon I hurt my Achilles tendon. I rested it and was able to run the half. Since then I've had issues and it is depressing.
I really love running. It is therapy for me. It really takes the place of my overeating. So what do I do now that every time I run I feel my Achilles pop for a few day afterwards. This stinks. Right when I was on a good track something like this happens. I know I need to rest it, but running is calling my name. I need it.
Maybe the problem is that I don't need it. The only thing I really need is God. I went from relying on food to relying on running, so I need to try and rely on God. I do need something to keep me healthy though. I need to see a doctor about it, the running that is.
I also need to find something to do while my Achilles heals. Maybe swimming? I don't know.
In the past month I think I've eaten everything and I mean everything in sight. Shoveling food in to my mouth. It is disgusting. I feel gross. Why is this so hard? Why can't I be one of those people that doesn't obsess over food. Is it genetic? Why is it so hard to not eat everything around me?
Well...I have to go check and see if there is any butter pecan left. :)
Intervention Needed.
Sunday, May 20, 2012
Day Two in Nashville: Relaxing Before the Big Race
We made a bad mistake of going to the hotel buffet. It was gross but for some reason we still ate it. Not too much of it though.
On Friday we spent a good amount of the day walking around. We went to the Tennessee Titans stadium and walked around downtown.
We were excited about picking a restaurant for dinner. I knew I wanted to eat steak the night before the race. The best long run I ever had I ate steak the night before so I knew it would give me some extra confidence.
We asked around and decided to go to Demos'. This was one of the best steaks I've ever had. Of course CC sent me a text in the middle of dinner. I gladly reported to her that I was eating my "planned" meal. Steak and broccoli.
We ate and then went back to the hotel and watched a movie. We loved our hotel. I think we could have stayed in it the whole time. People that get to stay in "fancy" hotels often might not know how it is for us less frequent flyers when we do get to go there. If you do get to say in hotels all the time make sure you think of us that don't and really enjoy it!!
We loved it. It was also very nice knowing that our kids were in good hands and we could really relax.
We put out our running items and went to bed. I was nervous but calm. It was weird. I felt really focused. I believe I set 4 alarms. I really didn't want to oversleep.
On Friday we spent a good amount of the day walking around. We went to the Tennessee Titans stadium and walked around downtown.
We were excited about picking a restaurant for dinner. I knew I wanted to eat steak the night before the race. The best long run I ever had I ate steak the night before so I knew it would give me some extra confidence.
We asked around and decided to go to Demos'. This was one of the best steaks I've ever had. Of course CC sent me a text in the middle of dinner. I gladly reported to her that I was eating my "planned" meal. Steak and broccoli.
We ate and then went back to the hotel and watched a movie. We loved our hotel. I think we could have stayed in it the whole time. People that get to stay in "fancy" hotels often might not know how it is for us less frequent flyers when we do get to go there. If you do get to say in hotels all the time make sure you think of us that don't and really enjoy it!!
We loved it. It was also very nice knowing that our kids were in good hands and we could really relax.
We put out our running items and went to bed. I was nervous but calm. It was weird. I felt really focused. I believe I set 4 alarms. I really didn't want to oversleep.
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